Reflections and Progress: thoughtfulgold

Ha that made me laugh, the thought of some idiot getting all angry and indignant when you slap the pink cuffs on him :)

I have been reading through xeno’s threads recently. Honestly, the man is genius with his PE application and him and those who also helped pioneer and perfect the IPR method of PE are sharper than razors in their understanding of wounds and recovery. Some of the things they explain also explain some of the gains I’ve seen after 5 month deconditioning periods.

Particularly the fact I saw any hanging gains at all. As I did that for about 5 weeks, clumsily and badly and still saw some length and base girth gains that continued to trickle in for a while after, despite some poor PIs and an injury when I quit hanging. That has boggled me for years, where I got .25” in both length and girth and I’m pretty sure recovering from my hanging days was it.
This does not mean that clumsily attempting hanging will get you gains even if you get hurt. It means I got lucky and have no idea how I’d even go about repeating such a feat, much less actually trying it without proper research and prudence.

That said, I’ve been trying to learn more about the theory and for the layperson it is almost simple but requires a bit of reading. In essence, Newbie Gains are mostly elastic in nature. Mostly gained by literally stretching cells to their maximum points. Be them ligaments, minorly. Or the shaft and CC and CS minorly. There are technical names for what goes on here and I do not want to pretend that this is my theory or that I’m exceedingly well-versed in it so I’m going to keep this at a layperson understanding level. This is not new tissue growth for a lot of the beginning phase. However, Newbie Gains can be impressive and miraculous. They’re a great mechanic. But they are not the IPR mechanism.

IPR, which stands for

Inflammation
Proliferation
Remodeling/Rest

Is a system that utilizes, at least in theory, the mechanism the body uses to repair minor tissue inflammation and small tears. This was originally pioneered by Shiver, also additionally before I ran across it in xenolith’s threads Bearded Dragon and others contributed to this theory. If there are more good men to credit, I do not know who else I should be thanking. For that I apologize, for credit where it is due is always merited but much of this research went on before I got onto Thunder’s or into PE period back in 2009.

All of that said, it is largely because xeno regularly updates his progress log that I ran across it. My first time talking directly to xenolith on the forum was regarding his Tiger Trap homemade PE device utilizing focused points of trauma via compression. Honestly, it looked dangerous. It went against most of what I personally had observed and been told was safe. Looking at it did not make sense to me at that time. but the first picture in fact is a cornerstone of the theory at one of the heights of its efficiency. You can look at my exchange with him there if you scroll up a bit, I’m honestly not proud of it. However, that was how I felt about compression devices, as while I got some mediocre results I had some bad experiences with the LengthMaster, which attached via compression and I nearly got an injury from. I say all of that to say this before getting to the body of the work:

xeno, if you’re reading my progress report and see this…I apologize for making light of your theory and assuming it was a fast way to get hurt. Like any PE, getting hurt and the avoidance of such is all in the judicious application of whatever practices and devices you use. I am sorry for not looking more into what it is you spoke on at that time before passing judgement.

Since that time, I’ve been reading a lot of his stuff. He offers extremely thorough answers and if you have the time I recommend reading through his progress report and his picture thread. He’s quite nice about answering any questions and the odds are many of the ones you may have are already answered because some are common. Now…brings me to the present.

After reading all about IPR and asking him a few questions myself…I’m giving it a try with a few clamps and some erect bending. Right now the routine is still in the fluid stages. Nothing too long of duration and trying to modulate and get a feel for intensity needed. Last night I dabbled a bit with 3 clamps (an offshoot of his Clamp Cock Coffin idea) and near the PONR and today I dabbled in clamped bending with a couple clamps. It is too early to tell exactly what is happening but PIs are solid. Larger flaccid, warm and fatigued feeling, extremely hard erections afterwards…mild temporary length gains of up to .25” both times…so I’m very intrigued. I’ll be taking 3 days off and using a basic vacuum ADS with a leg strap to do some ADS work for up to 5 hours daily, but no more. After 6 weeks I’ll weigh in and give more details of the routine I was doing if I find a way to make it both stable and repeatable. Right now it’s mostly by feel and I’m still learning exactly what I can handle at these new levels of pressure and stress on the penis.

Once again, much respect and appreciation to xeno. You took the time to show me something new regardless of my initial attitude and I thank you.

Very interesting. I’ll go and read Zeno’s log. My initial question is how long does it take to go from I to P to R. But I’ll read up a it first.

I simply lack the knowledge to impart it properly. It’s involved and he’s been tweaking it for years. Also…improperly used, the techniques are high risk. Caution and prudence are watchwords…but especially with higher pressure exercises.

This is his forte. I’m simply dabbling and trying to learn and understand it, myself.

I know I’ve spoken on this before. But, I need to again.

Beware the never-ending cycle of PE. I am in a place where I’m seeing good results and good signs and have to be conscious of the size I have and the size I’m reaching for. The lady in my life is devoted and will try her hardest but I keep in mind there are physical limitations that she has and I should respect them.

You, as a PE practicioner, have to remember that there are physical limits for an orifice. Just because you’re doing good doesn’t mean you always have to ride your gains out. Remember, your goals and your partners limits are often far different. It can be a problem. Just be mindful of that idea, even if it hasn’t happened yet.

My research and trials indicate that multiple clamps are the method I prefer. I spoke on the Cable Cuff previously, that is the style clamp I’m using here. So far..

Session notes

1 day on 3 days off
Warmup with edging and massage
Apply 4 clamps end to end towards midshaft for 3 minutes.
Second session after 10 min break apply 3 clamps spaced out focusing midshaft with manual clamp on base with my hand in OK grip for 3 minutes
3rd session with 3 clamps apply clamped bends with clamps at full possible tightness 2 below area of curvature and 1 above it for 3 minutes or until warm feeling of slight injury occurs.

Warmdown with edging and erect bends without clamps.

This is similar to my second session and as stable as I can apply it for now. More clamped bends may happen in the second cycle as I step it up. Not rushing this. PIs after session are weaker but I did orgasm twice last night so it’s hard to gauge. Temporary gains are around .25” again. It’s a bit hard on the unit but I rest harder than this as a result.

I’m guilty of this, I learned info that my girlfriends ex friends with benefits of two years was thick enough that it was “uncomfortable”. This has haunted me and has made me constantly wonder “how big is that then?”
They did a lot of sexual activities together like threesomes and it’s so hard to look past. I need to get past it or my relationship is screwed. Therapy doesn’t seem to be helping my insecurity though.

I don’t know what the answer is other than the fact that the man in question is not here. A penis could be 11 inches and if the man attached isn’t worth a damn…why would you think you as a man are inferior to his dick?

That’s basically the premise. She dumps him because he’s only got one redeeming quality. You knock your own self esteem around because he has a bigger dick than you, effectively reducing your worth to less than the value of his dick.

Ain’t no cock on Earth that majestic. Keep that in mind.

This was really nice to read, but my brain refuses to logically think the way it should.

She’s had 4 threesomes, 3 of which were with the same guy (her ex) and one of them was with him and another guy.
This knowledge has absolutely wrecked me. I haven’t gone a day for the past 5 months without thinking about it for the majority of my day.

I love this woman more than anything. I don’t know what to do.

You love her almost as much as she makes you insecure. Because that insecurity obviously takes precedence. If it didn’t then it would have died by now because she chose you over him with no hesitation.

The only saving grace of this guy is his dick. A dick that wasn’t even comfortable for her to take. Yet you worry about the guy she fucked before she decided to pick someone worth something who fit better. You are shooting yourself in the foot. Because you want to think “bigger is better” and you are projecting this onto your lady love. When in fact she told you otherwise.

I do not know what you should do. But I do know that her description of him and those days does not sound at all fond. So I really would let her put them behind her because all of this is part of why she’s here with you. All of that shit must have played out.

And mr. Thick Dick simply ain’t no fun to try and fit. That’s actually a preference some women have. That the penis FIT IN THE VAGINA PROPERLY. Honestly, that last part is a preference that if more women had, Thunders wouldn’t exist. You are very lucky. If I had women like that in my life instead of loud mouth size queens tainting my perception before I lost my virginity I may never have come here at all.

I can’t fix your insecurity. I can only give you facts and hope.

I got into PE because I wanted to gain girth to get closer to what I imagine his size would have been.
I’m 5.1 (maybe a little bigger now) in girth, and sometimes when I kegel while inside her, she’ll say “Ow, are you flexing?” so I can imagine the dude probably wasn’t more than 5.5-6 in girth. I don’t want to get big enough to cause her pain and make it uncomfortable, I just want to feel better about my body at this point.
The size of his penis no longer is the main thing that bugs me, it’s the threesomes she had with him. Especially the one with two guys.

I try to tell myself “if anything about her past changed, you would have never met her”. But my logically thinking brain isn’t controlling my emotions.

I genuinely think if I wasn’t insecure I’d drop her past and be present and enjoy life with her, this is the woman I want to spend my life with.

You are a great person for talking with me and trying to help. It’s more appreciated than you possibly know.
All the therapy and meds in the world aren’t getting to my core problem though, so I’m lost.

At this point, you are your own worst enemy. All of your data points to being well big enough, even to the point of pretty much too big if you try too hard. At PE or sex, period. That she is as tight as you could even wish, so more girth will only hurt her.

And I’ll repeat this: Her ex WAS too big for her to fit comfortably! So if you’re trying to get to the size he was you are being selfish because she doesn’t like that size! And that size was actually too damn big! If you can flex inside her and she’s like “Ow!” that means you’re at her comfortable limitation as far as size! Getting to a girth like this will not make her happy!

Basically, you’re doing PE to salve your wounded ego. Which is common and all well and good but…it’s wounded over nothing! She did not like the size you’re trying to attain! Reread the prior paragraph a few times, please before moving forward.

Nothing will change her past. Nothing about PE will make you into 2 or 3 guys. Nothing. There isn’t anything to be afraid of because if she wanted that life still she would have never come to you. It is that simple.

What is one thing that having a 5.5” girth penis will do for you? One practical thing for the relationship you are in. I have to ask, as it’s important to actually see what the point of your goal actually is. Because the Never-ending cycle starts with perceived inadequacy.

She’s thrown me some mixed signals though, while giving me oral she grabs me and says “I think it’s getting bigger, it feels different in my mouth, it feels huge”
So I say “It’s only getting bigger” and she didn’t say anything, I then asked her later if she wanted me to get thicker and she replied “I don’t know”.

Originally she would say “No” and tell me to stop doing PE because I’m “Perfect” the way I am and that she wouldn’t change a thing about me or my penis.

5.5” girth would make me feel good about myself, I know that .5” is actually a pretty big difference, if you take a tape measure and just look at the circumference.
I’m not trying to match his size, I just want to get closer. I promised her if she ever started dealing with it being uncomfortable that I’d stop and allow myself to lose some gains.

But as I said, it’s not his penis size that eats at me anymore, it’s the sexual stuff she did with him that she won’t do with me.
It’s probably because I’ve never had a threesome, and I’m jealous that she “lived” more than I did.

Not adding anything to TG’s great responses because he’s coverd all ground, but I’ll say this:
The above sentence is an excuse. Stop doing that. Stop excusing yourself from yourself by saying that nothing is getting at your core problem, or that you’re lost, or that your logic is not controlling your emotions and therefore you’re helpless.

That’s not problem solving. That’s self-comforting into a position that’s offering you a way out, so to speak, without dealing with the issue.

TG’s elaborated very well why your problem, as real is it is and as difficult as I imagine it being, is a perceived one.
You’re in charge, you’re in control, you’ve all the aces up your sleeve. Dude, she said ‘ow are you flexing?’ so CLEARLY she feels the little size increase from kegels well enough. Your size is fine. Your lady is happy. Accept the bright side, it’s a not bad place to be.

Or, to put it different, look at this way: Mr. Previous is wondering why his ‘big’ member didn’t keep his GF. He’ll feel inadequate. With the difference that he actually ‘lost’ the lady, and you ‘won’ her. See who’s on top here? No pun intended.

Sorry if this is a bit harsh but I understand from your wording you’re having treatment? Have the cards-on-table chat with your therapist. Repeat the advice TG gave you. Let’s see what your counselor make of it.

I’ve picked up girls from guys younger, older, richer, fitter, probably way bigger. I’ve failed due to guys uglier, more stupid, way poorer, less fit, IQ of a banana. At the end of the day, you’ve the prize now. Enjoy it. And work on your problem (perception), not symptom (size). Get back to size work once you have a good reason to.

I will tell you…this is complex but let me try and explain this. I talk about all of these things in multiple entries. But let’s hit basics.

1. No woman can accurately judge size. Period. This is fact, spatial exercises confirm this via survey.
2. Your size that you want to attain is not something stipulated by your partner. Her signals are only on the outer fringe of important because of rule #3
3. Do not get too big for your partner if you want to be with them longterm. This will limit sex.

There’s no point to living in the shadow of this guy. Period. Keep at it if you want, I guarantee you that you’ll want to get bigger or as she adjusts to your size she’ll say “he was a bit more uncomfortable than this” or some other small, thoughtless remark that she won’t think you’ll really remember that will make you keep at PE for another year or two. Woemn do not understand how this makes us feel and thusly, we can’t rely on them for these judgements. It’s YOUR call. Whether you want to be 7x6 or 9x7 don’t let her give you the idea. Otherwise in the back of your mind you’ll always wonder if she wants bigger. I’ve been there.

But…if she’s giving you the pained faces and noises, honest to goodness…increasing girth is selfish. You have to make a choice. Does hurting her matter more than your goal? Or does reaching your goal matter more than her discomfort?

The fact that she “lived” more than you won’t change. PE won’t change that. It cannot. You can mask your reasons for feeling like “her ex was bigger and more fun” with “she had fun with him and he wasn’t comfortable” and the fact remains both of those things bother you. You can reach for his unknown girth all you want but not only will you never reach it (because it’s UNKNOWN and UNKNOWABLE without measuring the man) you also won’t be able to duplicate the fun they had together.

It’s the chase of a ghost and inadequacy that simply will not die. You are keeping it alive by not letting what she did with other men rest. You won’t lay it to rest with 5.5” girth. You won’t lay it to rest by sleeping around. You won’t lay it to rest unless you realize none of that stuff matters anymore. That the past has in fact moved into the rear-view and she picked you for her entire future. Therapy won’t get you there, neither will medication. YOU have to make the decision that the things she has done and with who back in the day…aren’t important anymore.

You can’t make that distinction, you will be chasing ghosts indefinitely. I know. I’ve been there.