Reflections and Progress: thoughtfulgold

I posted a pair of pictures. Measured BPEL at 9.25” in actual images, here: 9.25 BPEL true. and that brought about this post, some hours later after I’ve had time to sleep, live and reflect on it.

This is legitimately further than I ever believed I would get, in this game. Penis Enlargement, as a practice is difficult because it is free-form, subject to interpretation and requires a lot of patience. All of which I didn’t think I had, hence starting with the extender and bumbling through that beginning phase of PE with X4 Labs forum. I stress now, just like in post #1 here, that my original goal was curve correction. That my dreams of a penis longer than 9” were just that, dreams. I had no clue how I would be able to get there. My math on the rods that I had in my kit indicated it wouldn’t be able to get me there, even. But that…is 8 years, 5 months and 2 weeks ago. I started PE around August 20th of 2009 if I remember correctly and it is fast approaching the time of great reflecting.

I have a penis that is over 9” long and even in NBPEL terms, it puts me solidly over 8”, at 8.25” on a good day. Let me reiterate, this is a monstrous size. Honestly, I’ve gotten reactions that are a bit fearful even from partners who have had larger guys before. To get this far in PE you have to decide who you are doing it for and what you are okay with having happen.

Because if you go for 8” BPEL and something like 5.25-5.5” girth you aren’t terribly huge. You are larger than most ‘big’ guys by a margin. And ‘big’ for any woman I’ve talked to starts around 6.5-7” so if you go above 7.5” you qualify as ‘huge’ more often than not. And ‘very big’ by any margin. Arguing this is something that happens here on Thunder’s Place but in real life, these are numbers that typical women work with and many have smaller standards if they have less experience or very small vaginas.

I have to qualify all of this because…if you decide to go to 9”+BPEL you are going to hit some fearful reactions from would-be partners. You will lose the ability for quickies, for balls-deep penetration and also require lube for sex for many women you encounter. You literally are taking your size to a place where you are often beyond the upper limit of someone’s comfort zone.

Meaning, regardless of what people here say or think about size…the woman you are talking about putting this penis in may just tell you “No.” and that be that. I was nearly turned down by my current partner. This was a thing I had to deal with. It is a real thing if you decide to PE to this point. I do not care ‘what you think she can take’ or ‘babies come out of there’ because when you’re getting hot and heavy and she has a heavy, tension building pause upon meeting your unit…you may not get laid, regardless of anyone else’s opinion or experience.

All of this said, I’m over the moon with my accomplishment. I hit a milestone that is so rare that I’m glad to even have attained it. PE is a lifestyle for me, so I’ll keep at it for a while longer. I have goals and they’re set. I will accomplish them. This milestone puts me so much closer to them that I can almost taste victory. That is how I’ve been feeling all day today.

If you think that having a size like this is worth the headache, special preparations for sex and the raw amount of time, effort and yes…money I spent to make it this far…then by all means, PE till you reach 9”+ but do it with an informed mind. Not imagining some kind of monster cock Cassanova fantasy. Or with the intent of acting out your own pornography.

Be realistic with yourself with your goals and desires. You will only achieve your goals when your desires match those goals. So you owe it to yourself to be honest and fair when setting them.

This post talks a little about how I bend my horse shoe usage.

If you buy these rings, you need to have them contoured to start with, otherwise you'll have to do a lot of extra bending and put additional wear on your rings.

The first picture is of them together. The one on the left is my current 2.50” Original Horseshoe cockring, it has been bent many times to fit my needs and stay still. Obviously has taken a lot of abuse. The one on the right is my new Hardwear Industrial 2.50” Horseshoe cockring, unbent.

1. This is looking at my old ring, which is distended and needs to be rebent to be useful again.

2. This is me bending one arm outward to change the overall shape of the ring.

3. This is me bending the other arm outward to achieve the shape I use to get the arms underneath my pubic bone and the balls on the end of the arms in the area behind my scrotum. It is important to note for this use of the Horseshoe I use no clips to close the ring, merely squeezing it closed enough to stay attached.

The last picture is my new ring bent into the shape I will use it in the majority of the time. It is a thicker version and likely will not need to be rebent as often, or is the hope.

My Hardware Horseshoe H60 arrived a few days ago. I’m a huge fan. It works great in conjunction with the autoxleeve. I never thought to use a cock ring with an ADS. Thanks for the idea.

Years ago when I first fielded the idea, I was using a pair of under-performing devices and trying to fill in gaps. This was before I understood PE as well as I do now and looking at it, it was an amazing breakthrough, if a touch spendy to run.

I am quite glad it is something you are a fan of.

I got to thinking, reading a post from another user. thoughtfulgold - Buckfever’s progress report/bananaman story. What is it that makes me keep moving forward?

My response prefaces this entry, and it is another endgame mindset entry. But this one is pretty straight-forward.

On the list of my goals, was a simple one. To be impressed with what I had between my legs. For me, myself, to be impressed. This has started happening as my MSEG creeps toward a permanent 6.25” and my length is safely above 9” I am starting to see a hung man in the mirror, especially post workouts. This amorphous goal that I set is starting to come to fruition.

Body Dysmorphia can kill this goal. It can deny this goal and its very right to exist. I likely could have reached this goal years ago at 8” if I had beaten Body Dysmorphia. But, I did not and I pushed on and forward 9” as though possessed. Haunted by ghosts of inadequacy, thoughtless remarks and inflated measurements of averages and porn stars. A Hell of my own creation.

Now that I’m here though, it is more like a victory lap. I’m going to do PE till I reach a point where I get erect and I’m like “You know what, this is enough and I've done an incredible thing.” and the more I see that hung guy in the mirror, the closer that day gets.

It does not matter how large you want to get or how far along your goals are. Your victory lap starts when your NEED for Penis Enlargement stops. That is when you have finally reached goal posts worth marking.

I am in my victory lap. And I’m not sure where it ends, but anywhere is obviously victory at this point. I simply have to choose.

More words of wisdom, as always. I’ve been there, only with bodybuilding years ago. Everyone around me saw someone who was jacked, in peak physical condition. I saw someone who was completely inadequate.

I have taken to edging in my Industrial 2.50” Horseshoe. Erections get harder and fade slower, like a halfway clamped state. It’s also pleasurable and likely useful for sex in keeping an erection a bit more efficiently and not having to close a ring. So these things are now part of my routine now, as I’ve always been partial to the horseshoe. It also opens a bit as my erection reaches maximum hardness so it is the just right tension, not too tight or dangerous.

Are you edging in just the top half of the horseshoe as you use in your stayer, or with the bottom piece attached as well?

I have purposefully lost the bottom clip to every last one of my horseshoes. And for the red 2.50 industrial I just got, I got it discounted by $20 because I asked for the clip to not be included as I never intended to use it closed. I did think I mentioned that in my post as well. But, to be plain, I hate the idea of a closed cock ring, always have and always will.

You mentioned open for sex, so I was unsure about for edging. At some point, I’ll have to try this. I got the H60, so open is not an option. For now, I like it closed. It gives me a solid extra 1/2” in girth.

A lot of people believe that I do not experience size insecurities. I do, but on a muted level. I no longer base my self-worth on a female’s opinion of my size. That is the difference between the insecurities that drove me deep into PE versus the insecurities I carry now.

A few days ago I had sex with a new partner. Not a single look or comment. After a few days, talking about sex, I made the facetious comment that my ego was on a precipice and would shatter because I was not the largest partner she ever had.

Her response paraphrased:
“All partners are different, doesn't mean they can't be great- size is only one small factor in the scheme of things, you can have the largest penis in the world and still suck in every other aspect.”

Basically the usual size consolation diatribe that you will hear. It didn’t really matter to me and I took it for what it was and laughed about it. I make a note about it here because it doesn’t matter how big that you get you are never assured any ego strokes from anyone. So the guys who are looking to get big enough to make a girl’s eyes bug out, you may be setting yourself up to hurt your own feelings.

Your PE Journey has to be about you and it has to stay about you. When you lose sight of that you will be lost and your goal will become meaningless.

The fact of the matter is that even if you were the largest they’ve had by a wide margin you’re still going to get that response. And there are several reasons for it. One reason is that from a perception standpoint unless the women are taking a ruler to it they can’t tell visually unless it’s huge differences in size. That’s been talked about here extensively.

Another reason is related to how you fuck. There’s different styles, but if you wind up ravaging the girl and she’s feeling the physical effects afterwards, that affects perception.

But finally and most importantly it will depend on the personality of the woman and that’s very complex. Some will simply not want to give you that, it’s a power thing. They’re not thinking about how it might diminish you they’re thinking about not being diminished and quite frankly they’re right to a degree, it ties into hard wired attraction. For other women it’s a shit test, they sense the weakness or it’s knee jerk reaction based on expeience and they are looking to incite a modicum of dominance. I actually like women like that, but I digress.

So I agree with you fully, you do it for you.

This last part is so true and people here completely ignore it. I laughed and let the subject drop but I made a note here because statistically and “optimally” according to my fans this reaction can no longer happen. It does and will continue to more often than not for exactly as quoted.

Women like that turn me off. I dominate all aspects of my life. Complex psychological and physical dominance games tire me.

Validation is found in the mirror.

Hi there, TG again. Today, I’m talking pumping theory. Packing the tube for people with congenital curvature, something trickier for some than others. Let’s dig in.

Some things in PE require optimum circumstances. It will vary quite drastically, from person to person and penis to penis. In my case, what is a common event in pumping for most men has never occurred for me.

I am talking about “packing the tube” in the practice of penis pumping. Usually, if your penis is relatively straight and evenly proportioned girthwise throughout the shaft, you will eventually get the entirety of your penis to ‘pack’ against the sides of the tube. Depending on your purpose for pumping, be it length or girth, it may be optimum that you pack the tube or signifying that it is time for you to size your tube up a 1/4” size (because pumping cylinder/tube sizing is done in 1/4” most commonly, not 1/8” though sometimes you can find them that way). So, for most men it isn’t a huge, life-changing event as most men have relatively evenly sized erection chambers with no large difference in their left or right corpus cavernosums that can cause significant congenital curvature.

That preface being said, I do have significant curvature to the left due to a malformed CC based around a skin bridge generated by a mostly botched circumcision done at 1 years old. Really sucks but that is what it is. I have corrected a lot of the curvature shown here: Curve Correction Slide Show 20018- thoughtfulgold but it is ongoing and a dream of mine to eliminate it completely. I have reason to believe that I can and I believe packing a penis pumping cylinder is key here.

Sta-kool, a moderator here, experienced phenomenal curve correction using a tube one size smaller than recommended and packing said smaller than recommended tube numerous times over a long duration and span of sessions. He used an incremental pressure method over time: Sta-kool’s Accidental Curve Correction method and his is success with a curve based around a malformed left Corpus Cavernosum was so similar to the goal I desired that I went on a mission to make a bid at duplicating his success.

I need to note here that the theory is based around tube sizing and packing the tube for a cumulatively long period of time. Not necessarily the pressures used to get there, as long as you do not experience edema. sta-kool is experienced in PE but we have two different levels of conditioning and it takes a lot more pressure for me to experience expansion in the tube significantly compared to him. So I took the cylinder sizing concept and went with higher pressure sessions, because I know what will get my penis a good workout.

That, combined with new levels of pressure and patterns and lo and behold, it has happened. Here: First Time Full Tube Packed!

Packing the tube for someone with normal Corpus Cavernosum chamber engorgement is not an event. For someone like me it is both notable and a method to improve curvature. Hence my own desire to achieve it. In my last picture linked in my slide show, is minor correction from last year to this year and I believe that the PE4F pumping is responsible for this in conjunction with using a 2” tube, which is smaller than the obviously better fitting 2.25” diameter tube. My base is crammed into this tube quite snug but it is the fact that my mid shaft still has room to expand that makes this tube the one to choose. As getting my midshaft to pack, long-term, will be how the curve is eliminated. The key here is finding the tube that will pack your entire penis and a workout/pressure pattern you can hold for a reasonable amount of time.

You should use the snug cylinder principle by drawing duration out further with lower pressures instead of high pressure use. This exact optimum range, you will have to test for yourself. I generally recommend no more than a 15 minute session if you aren’t experienced with long duration pumping and try to only increase durations by 5-10 minutes till you find the place where edema will be more an issue than any help and dial the duration back down to the optimum level. You can also create a custom pumping routine if you have an advanced understanding of pumping.

Even dialed in, it is still more than a notion and the following session I had with duplicating pretty much every single pressure modulation I did not experience full tube packing. It was a sub-par session and it goes to show that your overall EQ over the course of the last 24 hours is also key in the usage of this theory.

That basically means that you need to omit extreme levels of edging prior to your routine other than what is required to make it efficient. It also is recommended you not masturbate multiple times in 24 hours if you know it affects your Erection Quality in a negative way. Or do excessive manual exercise or device use, for the same reasons.

In closing, extenders are not the only curve correction method out there. Air pumps, with accurate and snug sizing, can offer correction even to some of the most severe curves when implemented correctly and patiently enough. Most people find extenders barbaric and uncomfortable and pumping pleasurable so this idea is one that needs to be posed so others can learn and appreciate from it. I like the idea and my experience has been mostly positive.

Hopefully yours will be as well.

When you do PE for as long as I have sometimes it all begins to blur. I am confident that through the years I have forgotten my original purpose for starting this journey and then found it again many times. I stress that as long as you remember that your journey is about you that the exact reason does not matter. However there are times that you need to reflect on that exact reason because it will become relevant as the years pile on and the money starts to add up. Perspective must be maintained and relative progress must be notated and celebrated.

Recently, as of today in fact, I reflected on the actual curve correction I have had thus far. To hear me telling my curve is terrible. I feel it is. But it is not an objective view. It is the view of someone who is used to seeing a certain thing and just like body dysmorphia can affect how I perceive my penis size it will affect my view of my penis curvature to the same degree.

It was not until my best friend reminded me of what she knew my penis look like before and comparing it to now that I dug up the pictures I did for the slideshow here: Curve Correction Slide Show 2018- thoughtfulgold

Looking at that slide show is really empowering. It lets me know that what I do does matter. And also empowers me to believe that eventually I will eliminate my curve the way that I envision. That belief shapes my reality and allows me to move forward with the creation of it.

Perspective must be maintained otherwise progress is lost.