Reflections and Progress: thoughtfulgold

Yesterday night I was talking with my bestie and she asked me what I would do for clothes. Her exact words were: “how will you wear clothes?” She has been supportive but she also wants to leave some vestiges of practicality in my journey and she finds a little bit of ridiculousness in my goals. I value her opinion and the reality check that she routinely brings.

Clothing is a big issue. Not so much now, with my balls at a relatively small state. Once that changes the entire package will stand out much more and it will become a very hard to hide thing. Part of it is something I look forward to. But I have to grasp the impracticality of it also.

A company called Duluth Trading makes a special line of jeans called Ballroom jeans. And because I know dress pants, slacks and khakis are a dead loss I would simply go with something custom made when I need to dress up. Or have something altered that way I would be able to dress up within reason. Underwear will probably remain strictly a boxers function. Other sorts of underwear simply do not allow for the amount of room that my flaccid needs and will need. I personally do not think that I would enjoy going commando all the time and I certainly do not at this point. However, how it works remains to be seen as I’m not done yet with either my PE Journey or my testicular enhancement Journey.

It just needs to be said that I have considered that clothing will become a serious problem.

There are significant risks involved with sexual intercourse and condoms not fitting properly. The condoms I use don’t like to roll down completely due to the base girth reaching over 7” and while they’ve been “safe” enough I like the idea of female condoms. I did not at first, because no one has them anywhere, no one knows how to use them and they’re expensive but…there are a few facts about female condoms that need to be aired out first.

1. They can be inserted up to 8 hours before intercourse. This means they’re warm by the time sex happens, they’re stable in a vagina, they’re safe and don’t impede a woman urinating (which is because the urethra isn’t in the vaginal canal, it’s separate).

2. They do have a set depth but this doesn’t matter that much. The ones I bought and the common ones are 6.81” in depth. This is the common depth and this is not really a problem as most vaginal canals generally in my experience only comfortably expand about 7” deep in either case. So, the condom isn’t really limiting sex, which I expected it would. If you push harder and deeper you will push the condom inward but it is unlikely and easily fished out.

3. Non-latex. Important because latex allergies.

4. Not something to fiddle with repeatedly, as the session moves on and forward. I had a session recently where I had to use 4 condoms because between penetrations and other things she had to blow me again, get me hard, then we’d roll on the next condom.

5. Not constricting on the male. The way the base ring is made, at 3.5” diameter, it leaves plenty of width room to open so that the only limitation is the standard one of the vaginal canal itself. Not the condom. Which is a problem with male condoms, as exact fit is very tricky and sometimes condoms fit tight, bind, roll up, or bunch and get snug in ways they should not.

6. Expensive. For 12 I paid just under $26. Which is the standard price and you can pay up to $13.99 for one of the original FC2 brand name ones. I went with the Pasante brand sold by World Condom. They have free shipping on all orders now, at the time of this post (maybe not at the time you’re reading it.)

7. Lube is required. The vagina is sealed off, so her natural lubrication is behind the condom, which is what makes it safe for you to not get your penis exposed to her fluids and prevent STI transmission. So bring a bottle of lube, water based preferably like with any condom use.

This is something I felt I should touch on as many of us are growing, outgrowing our standard condoms and some of us starting at larger sizes will be looking at increased condom difficulties. I’ve always had issues using condoms and while i can and my condoms fit reasonably well, I do not enjoy them and this option is vastly preferred at least in theory. I will weigh in after using these a time or two.

This is why I appreciate bareback and the pill. Glad I can just size up to larges and call it good sounds like you’re running out of options…

I am. But mainly because I’m having casual sex with multiple partners. If it wasn’t for STI transmission risks I wouldn’t be in such a bad place. My partners are clean but you don’t just bet on that and it’s impolite to not use a condom in American hookup culture.

When my rotation gets more steady and I can create bonds of trust condoms will be less necessary. That hasn’t happened yet so I’m trying the female condoms to see how well I can get them to work.

I see. I thought it was with one person. Well hope you can figure it out!

Last night post-workout my flaccid reached a measurement of 7.5x6” bone pressed length and mid shaft girth. Round 28: Pressure scale-down, new findings

That was absolutely huge. It was perfect in my eyes. It wasn’t an 8 inch flaccid. Which was what my goal had originally been set as. I can plainly see that I do not need that to be content. And lately, some of my post-workout erect measurements have kind of given me pause about my goals as well.

Don’t get me wrong because I would love to reach incredible record-breaking PE sizes. As an advanced practitioner it would be a mark of honor if I could do so. But considering some of the difficulties I’ve had hooking up recently and the reactions I’ve gotten, muted or not, I need to stay in contact with the real world here.

My ability to continue to gain is not in question. My ability to remain a viable sex partner for multiple women is. So for now, at least in theory, I may not be striving for 10x7” but likely somewhere close. The more I’m able to see is the more I’m able to understand what it is that I am doing and where I’m headed. Because I’m able to comprehend my size in a real-world context now I do not have the compulsion to continue indefinitely. That compulsion has defined my PE Journey for all the years I’ve done it up to this exact point.

There comes a time when you *have* to look down and then say ‘this is a lot” after you’ve seen gains. I have seen these Eureka moments in other progress logs. I simply did not know when mine would come. When you look down and you are proud…you are creeping towards the end if not already finished with your PE Journey.

I am definitely proud now. But I am also proud of the fact that I control exactly where I will end up and I have a vision that I still want to see before I get to the end of my journey.

This does mean that I have set some limitations. I will not work in a 2.5 cylinder tube. Geometrically I understand that if I work in a 2.5 inch cylinder that it would mean my mid-shaft girth had reached a point of 6.8” or greater. I do not want that. I own three cylinders that are 2.5 inch in diameter. I will likely sell them. I do not want them anymore.

My base is 7.3” on average and may get larger when I work in a 2.25 cylinder. That does not mean I need a 7-inch mid-shaft penis.

I also will not be buying any more girth related equipment. At this point the equipment I have should see me through far enough. This will save me both money and keep me from gaining too much. I can pump for length indefinitely in a tube that I pack. Care must be exercised of course but it is something that can be done safely and regularly. I would rather do this then venture into a larger tube than 2.25. There are a couple of girth methods I would be willing to try but I think I may have to take those off of my to-do list. Lines have to be drawn if limits are to be set and adhered to.

At this point I only see purchasing the equipment to convert a sun tea jar for full package pumping purposes (or obtain one of the pump toys acrylic sun tea jar cylinders made for the purpose by some miracle) and perhaps a glans expander tube when I reach a 2.25 regular packing scenario. Because an important aesthetic for me is the mushroom regardless of what my girth ends up at.

I have no reason to believe that I need anymore equipment that I have now for the foreseeable future. I understand where I want my PE journey to end, at least the general vicinity and the means I will use to get there.

So now I am pumping the brakes officially. I am no less motivated but I am much more focused on an actual real goal and reaching the end.

Body dysmorphia insisted on keeping my goals open-ended and ever-increasing. Aside from the incredibly unhealthy aspect of this, it left me enslaved to sensations of an adequacy that had long since stopped being justified. I am done with body dysmorphia disorder. I know what I have done and I can see what I have between my legs.

The sensation of freedom is indescribable.

Oh my fellow brother do I envy you. The fact that you have broken from that shell of self limitance. Pretty much the whole reason I do PE is to be comfortable in my own skin. I am glad that you have finally ascended to this state.

I have a long road ahead of myself. I have quit porn a week and a half ago and the withdrawal symptoms are insane. In addition to having nerve injury from the bib hanger, exams, and work, moments like these really tests ones grit.

Seeing people attain that state of happiness brings the smallest level of content. Congrats bro.

It was years of suffering. Confusion. Ignorance.

And if you seek happiness within yourself eventually you’ll find it. I wanted the pain of inadequacy to stop. Now, it has. I have created the concept of myself that I wanted and believe in it.

I appreciate the kind words and offer my best wishes to your own personal journey.

Tremendous courage my friend. You lead by example.

Hey!

So I’ve taken another big break from clamping (Still on my break, but I started pumping without any issues, yay!)

I can pump at high pressure without any aggravation of my injury.

I was told by a user on PEGym that edema = bad and will prevent gains from pumping.

Is this true? Is it better to pump for long periods at a lower pressure instead of a high pressure 15-30 minute pump? (Bathmate by the way).

It’s crazy, I gain a temporary .5 in girth after pumping + my C ring on.. I can definitely tell 5.5” is my dream size.

I just tried to survive the ridiculousness that being male can be these days. So far, 100% alive.

Personally, I don’t trust the Bathmate in the least.

Edema is pretty much not going to help you. There’s a way to pump and get something productive despite edema but it requires years of pumping experience to understand.

I can’t tell you which technique will work for you, I’ve done both over the years and seen progress from both.

well damn, I appreciate the reply.
What about pulse pumping? Does that do anything different or inevitably am I just going to have edema?

I really only get a little bit on the right side under my glans but I also have a vein that goes right there so it’s hard to tell if it’s the vein or edema.

I love the temporary gains I get from the BM, but it’s temporary.. Looking to buy an extender soon and invest 3-4 hours a day wearing it.

You will not always get edema. Depending on pressure and duration determines this. However, time and expansion patterns you want to see are key. And some of those come with edema possibilities or definites.

Edema is not useful but you can gain even if it exists if you know how to understand your penis. It doesn’t kill your gains but it can mask them and only experience will help you understand the difference.

I can’t tell you how any pumping style will affect you. It’s so variable that many never go above 5Hg while others freely experiment with 25Hg+ so it’s an experiment you’ll have to run for yourself.

Hey man I’m a newbie. PE is going great. Its my second week I don’t think so I have yet achieved gains ( I know its too early anyways ) but my penis feels heavier than before when its on the process of erection . And also is total of 15 mins jelq time ok for newbie on second week? I do ok grip palms up for 10 mins and, 5 mins 1 hand overhand jelq and, throw a minute of v jelq for the sides, just to keep it guessing . And I’m planning to add 5 mins jelq every week for the gradual process till I reach the newbie 30 mins mark over 6 weeks .I would appreciate any advice and help , thank you.