Guilty Spark's Atypical Log

Tonight was unfortunately another night where I did not get the expansion I wanted. Again, I think these less than satisfactory sessions are due in part to not doing enough jelqs, but I think there was a bigger reason at play tonight; fatigue. I slept horribly last night, and today’s work day was much longer than usualy. When I got home I was tired, and I didn’t have as much time to relax and unwind as I usually do. My ability to feel turned on and my EQ were both reduced. Tomorrow is an off day, but I hope things will be back on track for Thursday.

Last night’s session was utterly fantastic. I only cum once a week. Not having an orgasm increases my arousal levels and contributes to better EQ, ease of getting hard, and good expansion. It doesn’t work as well earlier in the week as was plainly illustrated on Tuesday. It’s more like a slow build toward the end of the week. Saturday is when I indulge, and I have a huge orgasm. Anyway, expansion was great, and I think I am starting to get enough shaft to work with that 3 seconds per jelq is almost too fast, because the stroke needs more time to cover the length. Overall my PE journey is going VERY well. Nearly six months, and it already looks so big. I know I keep saying this, but I simply cannot wait to see what I achieve in another six months!

Tonight was a good session with a minor hiccup, but that is my own fault. Nearly lost control twice trying to stay hard. As I have mentioned before, hunger kills my errection. I felt like I was getting hungry before I began PE, but it was getting late, and I just wanted to get it done. Additionally, I had pizza, and that’s not great fuel for the body. I think if it weren’t for my experience controlling my orgasm, I would have failed the session. I don’t think overwork is a problem anymore. I got hard pretty easily, and it felt amazing.

Looking at the cocks in the massive cock subreddit is both encouraging and discouraging. It’s encouraging because it gives me motivation to keep going. I see how big some men are, and I know that if I just keep trying, I can get into that same category. It’s discouraging because I know that unless I’m willing to PE for like, 20 years, I’ll never be as big as some of the monsters on there. This is where I have to constrain my thinking within the bounds of practicality. Sure a 9 x 6.5 or bigger looks impressive, but is it practical for most sexual encounters? I’m thinking probably not. I will be happy to reach 7 x 6, and I think I can do that within the next two years or so. I’d love to be 8 long, but that may be out of reach. So far my gains have been pretty steady. Even after I scaled back my PE due to overwork, I feel like the gains did not totally stop. How long can I keep going before gains slow to the point it’s not worth it or stop completely? I really don’t know. I do know that I will be big when all is said and done. Perhaps not huge, though I’d like to get there, but I will be big enough to surprise most any woman out there.

Although I had my weekly orgasm yesterday, I’ve been playing with myself on and off throughout the day today, and once again I found myself asking the rhetorical question “is this penis really mine?” Of course, it is. I simply cannot believe how huge it’s looking! This is only after roughly 6 months!!! Not even that long! I am more than excited for the next 6. I found out about PE at age 14. I am now 36. I never really did it properly until 6 months ago when I wanted to really do it right. It’s exciting to think that I will soon have the penis I’ve wanted all of these years!

I’ve made a decision regarding the future of my PE. Is it a good decision? Don’t know. Only time will tell. Every man is different, and different things work for different men.

I’ve seen it said here and there on the forums that it is good to take regular decon breaks in order to keep gains from stalling. I have not taken any decon breaks since I started, with the exception of slowing things down so I could recover from over work. I’ve decided that I will NOT be taking decon breaks. The reason is because I already have almost half of any given week dedicated to rest and recovery. I interpreted two on one off for the newbie routine to mean PE Mon Tue, Wed off, PE Thu Fri, weekends off. I believe it is enough time to keep my penis from toughening up too much.

Tomorrow officially begins week two of month 6. I still have not measured. I can tell by changes in the appearance of my penis and how it feels that it is still getting longer and thicker. When I do measure I want to have a really nice surprise. I have decided that more than likely I will measure at the one year mark.

I’ve hit a potential snag with my PE. Not sure yet. I’ve been dealing with some pretty severe jock itch for awhile now. Eventually it got so annoying that I couldn’t take it anymore, and I began trying various creams to get rid of it.

Unfortunately the one I found that seemed to work also left the skin of my scrotum red, flaking, and painful to the touch, so I had to stop using it. Since some spots where I had the rash were close to the base of my shaft, the pulling of the skin during jelqing was extremely painful.

On the bright side, when my skin finally cleared up, the jock itch was almost completely gone … almost. It became quite tolerable compared to what it had been, and I decided that since the itch was merely annoying, I’d give priority to enlarging my dick.

Fast forward to now. It is once again getting worse, and it’s starting to spread to my scrotum again. Here’s the potential snag. I don’t think the rash is so close to the part that experiences tension from jelqing that I will experience pain again, but I’m not 100% certain. If it starts to become painful, I may stop using the cream, finish out this PE month, and then take two or three months to focus on getting rid of this, because it is seriously getting old.

Just a couple of thoughts on this first day of week number two of month six.

It will always surprise me how utterly huge my penis looks at the end of the week, and yet the evening of Monday, when I’ve gotten off work after a day of working in the cold, my flaccid looks so small. The contrast is insane.

For tonight I’m nervous. Not only do I seem to be suffering from the usual lack of horny I seem to experience on Monday, but also, I’m not sure how or if my jelqing will be affected by the jock itch cream I’m using. I can already feel some soreness and irritation where I’ve applied it. I hope those areas will be unaffected.

Damn I’m tired. Well I better go take my shower. I feel like if I don’t power through and get my PE done in short order I’ll be too tired to do it later.

Well I have a decision to make I think. I have decided after only one day to stop using the jock itch cream. I think if I keep using it right now it will become too painful to jelq due to tension on sore skin. I’m going to at least finish out month 6. After that I’m not sure what I’ll do. I really want to keep forging ahead and getting those gains, but it may be beneficial to take a month or so off, not only to beat this jock itch, but also to decon. Well, I have about three weeks to think it over.

OH, and tonight’s session was actually really really good in spite of not feeling like doing PE at all. Always PE, especially when you aren’t feeling it.

The contrast between last night and tonight could not be more drastic. Last night I didn’t feel like doing PE, but I had a really good session. Tonight I was feeling pretty good about it, but I only made it to 50 jelqs. I think I know why too. The last time I used the jock itch cream and my skin got red and painful to the touch, I was not yet taking the L-Arginine. I maintain my belief that L-Arginine is causing me to be more sensitive, which means my orgasm is on more of a hair trigger than it was before. I’ve learned to control it pretty well most of the time. This increased sensitivity though means that any time something is keeping me from staying erect, the stimulation necessary to keep me hard is too much, and I lose control. When I was not taking the L-Arginine, I found it difficult to stay erect due to the pain from the surrounding skin. Physically and psychologically it was a boner killer. I was able to push through the pain though because the stimulation necessary to stay hard did not push me over the edge. Now though all bets are off. It just wasn’t happening. The affected skin has actually gotten worse than it was yesterday. It’ll probably take a few weeks to clear up like it did last time. Honestly this has me so pissed. My penis is looking bigger than ever lately, and I just want to keep pushing through and getting those gains. I also want to actually finish out this PE month. Once I do that’ll be six months. I’ll take an L for tonight, but I will try resuming PE again on Thu as tomorrow is a scheduled rest day. Hopefully some healing happens over the next few days. I’m going to be putting Shea Butter on my scrotum starting tonight to try and heal some of this redness and soreness.

I’ve made a decision. I’m going to try to get through the rest of this PE month with mostly successful sessions. Assuming I can do that, I will then take a month off. I’ve been putting it off for a long time, but I really need a reset.

In spite of what I said in my second to last entry, There is a nagging worry in my mind that I am actually suffering from overwork again. What makes me hopeful that this is not the case is the fact that I failed a session on Tuesday, but I had morning wood this morning. When I initially scaled back my PE to help with recovery, It took a good while for me to start getting morning wood again.

Having said all of that, I have no idea how tonight is going to go. Tuesday has discouraged me, and because of the orgasm, I am not feeling as easily excitable tonight as I normally would be at this point in the week. It’s anyone’s guess really, but try I will!

Tonight was an extremely mixed bag. As far as the quantity and quality of the exercise is concerned, I got what I wanted. Reached my target of 150 jelqs, and I got the expansion I like to see at the end.

The session itself is another story. I got hard fairly easily, so I thought things would be fine, but man did I have troubles. At only 30 jelqs, I started getting soft. Trying to get hard again made me feel like I was going to lose it, but I somehow managed to recover and keep going. I’m thinking the lack of pain from the surrounding skin, which is healing, as well as the practice I’ve had controlling the simulation and holding back orgasm is what allowed me to hang on. Even so, I nearly climaxed a few times.

I think it’s pretty clear I’m suffering from overwork again, although it doesn’t seem to be as bad as last time. I remain focused on finishing out month 6. My plans have slightly changed though. I will not be adding 20 jelqs to my sessions the next two weeks. My plan from now on is to reach a minimum of 100 jelqs, and if I feel like I can continue on to 150, I’ll do that. It’s definitely looking like it would be a good idea for me to take a minimum of 1 month off.