Guilty Spark's Atypical Log

In spite of my PE difficulties these past weeks, I HAVE actually achieved a milestone. I can now comfortably close both hands around my shaft with the head poking out. Pretty exciting. I know I keep flip flopping on taking a week off, but the more I think about it, the more I believe that a large portion of my difficulties were due to doing stretching first, and jelqing later, giving fatigue a chance to set in and interfere with getting erect. Now of course, returning to back to back stretching and jelqing doesn’t fix my current problem, which is having some difficulty staying hard. I will see how I am feeling on Monday, The weekend has always presented a really nice opportunity to rest and recover. Not sure why my penis feels so overworked at the moment. It used to be that no matter how hard I did the jelqs, it still felt like there was no fatigue. It’s like some sort of barrier was broken through.

Ahhh, memories. Penile fitness was my first experience of PE too. I remember getting good gains (or what was more likely a big improvement in EQ) from the free stuff on there. Nice to see someone else who had the same starting point.

I think they are still around as the dream penis guide website? There are many many similarities in their site design. Nice to meet someone who also started out there!

I’ve speculated a lot on why I am having PE troubles. I don’t know for sure what the initial cause was, but I believe I know what the problem is now; overwork. Why do I think this now? Last time I had a failed session, I remember very clearly that it was taking a lot of stimulation to keep me hard. Did a little too much stimulation, and that was it. The day before that on an off day, I had tried to masturbate, and although I was successful, it was difficult to keep it up then as well.

So why overwork when I previously went for three solid months with no routine changes and no trouble? In a word, impatience. Mind you I am only guessing here, but I believe it makes sense. After my first failed session about three weeks ago, I became impatient and frantic. I was desperate to go back to having regular, successful sessions. This meant fewer days off. I have not had two consecutive days off from PE for about two weeks. There also seems to be more exercise fatigue than has been normal for me. I need to get back to having regular days off. That means one day off midweek, and weekends off. This is week three of month four for me, and I have not had a week yet for month four where I have gotten in four sessions. This bugs me. I will be doing PE tonight, and then taking Sunday and Monday off. This means that my PE week will reset to Tue Wed, Thu off, and Fri Sat instead of Mon Tue, Wed off, and Thu Fri. I believe it is absolutely essential that I go back to having regular days off to correct this issue, and especially the two day weekend is a necessity since my sessions are typically intense. If at any point during the next week I cannot retain control, then I really will take a week off. This issue must be corrected.

I am fresh out of the shower. Once again I shower before PE because I find it is the best way to have a good grip for stretching. I feel however like my body is crashing due to only having pizza for lunch. Pizza, while very tasty is hardly substantial as food goes. I’ll get some string cheeses here in a little bit for a quick snack. Then it’s time for another PE attempt. If I lose control, I will wait and finish it later. I WILL have my four sessions this week. Once again, after today, I will be taking the next two days off. They will be my first two consecutive days off since this nonsense began. I’m hoping very much that it will be enough to reset my dick, and that if I observe my regular days off going forward, I will have no more problems. If from Tuesday onward I am still having issues, then I really will have to give in and take a week off, which would suck, because seeing my penis shrink over just the weekends is discouraging.

Tonight’s session was a real mixed bag. How was the session? Technically it was amazing. I had great expansion, was able to stay erect for jelqing, and lately when I do PE it is looking huge. It also was very difficult for me to get hard to begin with, and I nearly lost control twice. I think the only reason I made it through is because I am getting better at knowing what kind of stimulation and how much of it will send me over the edge. With this fourth session for the week done, I will now be taking two consecutive days off. I’m hoping it will be enough to reset things, because with how my penis is looking lately, the hype train is running at full speed, and I do not want delays in getting my dream cock.

As my first two days break since the difficulties began draws to a close, I am reminded that a good chunk of the size I have at any given time is temporary due to PE, and that I will have to work hard to cement the gains I want. I will not give up.

Really not feeling it tonight. I do not understand how I went from being so frantic to have consistent successful sessions that I forgot to let myself rest, to being so apathetic about it all right now. I guess there is still the worry that this one will fail. Welp, like times past, this entry will serve as a pep talk for myself. I WILL give it a try tonight. Getting a big penis means consistency, even when you don’t want to do the exercises. ESPECIALLY when you don’t want to do them!

Tried getting hard just now to see where I’m at. Not good I don’t think. Length of course seemed to be fine, but girth … it continues to astound me just how much “progress” seems to be temporary expansion. Just how monstrously thick will I have to be during PE before what it eventually settles down to is my target girth? It already looks huge when I do PE.

It’s worth mentioning that I didn’t seem to be anywhere near fully hard, so that certainly could be a part of it. Perhaps I am about to find out over these next two days that I actually do need a week off if I can’t even get myself to full erection after a two day break.

Fatigue could be part of it, but I’m also not feeling horny at all. Neither erotic thoughts nor material seem to be having much effect.

This happens often though after a weekend. I see how much size I lose over that break, and I start to get discouraged realizing just how far I still have left to go. At this rate, I’m thinking that not even after six months will I be happy with my size. I might need a lot longer than that. Nine perhaps, or even twelve or more. Will I have the willpower to keep things up for that long?

For right now I guess I better stop putting it off and see if I can get a session done. Won’t know unless I try.

P.S. I know I said I couldn’t get myself to full erection just now, but the difference when using lube is pretty dramatic. Should be able to get plenty hard for jelqing.

So yeah I … might actually have to take an extended break. Not sure yet. I’ll see how the rest of this week goes. Tonight’s session was mostly successful, but overall bad. Took forever to get hard, and I actually lost control with only 10 jelqs left, so I count that as pretty much a success.

At this point, it is seeming 100% that I will have to take some time off. A week, maybe more. Doing PE while suffering overwork is not necessarily impossible. It’s inconvenient, and I might not be able to do as much, but it’s doable. With this in mind, I’m going to try and finish out this last week of month four with four sessions. Then I will take a week off and see where I’m at. I want to begin month five fresh and ready to go.

Was planning to do PE tonight, but what man in his right mind passes up pussy? I sure don’t. Got laid tonight. It’s starting to seem like I have trouble fitting inside of her, but she loves the thickness and length. Since the week doesn’t actually end until Sunday, I’m pushing off my last two sessions to Saturday and Sunday. After finishing out the last week of month four, I will take a one week break as I previously talked about. Hopefully after having that recovery time it’ll be a straight, uninterrupted shot to the 6 month mark. Once I reach 6 months, I will be taking a week off to allow my penis to settle into something resembling its actual size. Then I will take the first official measurements since I started PE again.Based on what I am seeing after 4 months, I am expecting to be pleasantly surprised.

When you wake up hard, and you feel like you need to wait for the erection to go down to comfortably wear pants, you MAY be getting big lol.

About to try a session here pretty soon, but I’m nervous about it, and not because of my penis. I have a bad left hand. Some days it’s better than others. Many times I’ve jelqed through the pain, and usually the pain lessened as the session progressed, however, it seems to be particularly bad tonight for whatever reason. I don’t know the cause of the pain, but I’ve had it for years, and I don’t think it’s ever going to go away. I can’t let it stop me either. Unless I can deal with it, there is no PE. I need both hands to jelq.

Right then. Shower done. Time to take a little time to dry out, and then, PE. Hand still hurts like a bitch. On the bright side, the amount of pain I feel from normal usage is not always an accurate indicator of what I will feel when doing PE, so I’ll see what happens. Just have to power through today and tomorrow. This coming week off will also give my hand a chance to rest.