Reflections and Progress: thoughtfulgold

A reflection I had this morning is that, early on in my PE career I noted lower gains and lower drive when I masturbated frequently. The consensus typically supports this but I’ve noted many men who have no issue having regular sex and regularly masturbating or regular PE and masturbating. Though, almost every man having regular sex admits PE is too much unless the routine is optimized for a lot of sexual activity.

That said, recently my ability to masturbate has gone up. Originally, it was one ejaculation per day and then poor erections and an inability to ejaculate. Then it was one good ejaculation and a poor one if I pushed it. Progression to now, I can get 3 good erections and 3 good loads in 24 hours and not feel drained. Though…after that, the refractory period is drawn out to a day or at least a night’s sleep. But, if I limit it to 2 ejaculations in a day, my daily erections stay regular and strong and I can do that rate of sexual activity indefinitely, if my body isn’t tired from work and other things.

I think more of this is mental than physical. My body hasn’t drastically changed, as far as my endocrine levels. My ability to produce semen is the same as I haven’t been taking supplements and my body fitness level is pretty much the same. But my own mental state, of limiting myself to one or two orgasms daily…that has changed.

So, while I still advise against hardcore masturbation and heavy sexual activity during a PE regiment, it may not be as counterproductive as originally thought. Literally, how you feel about it will determine how much it can set you back. That, I think is a potent takeaway here.

I gained like crazy when I first started PE, and I had never heard a peep about PIED, or any negative effects of masturbation, so I would watch the odd porn clips to jelq, and I would often masturbate twice a day. Still had rock hard erections, and gained an inch and a quarter in BPEL in my first eight weeks. I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t actually seen it myself. But masturbation clearly had little to no effect on my gains. Or maybe it had a positive effect? Oh how I wish I could gain like that again.

Newbie Gains and tissue hyperplasia are harder to quantify. When you’re doing more trauma and less sustain stretching of tissue to gain I think the masturbation side effects are more negative and pronounced.

You also could just be one of the guys I reference who has no reason to worry about the effect of masturbation on your gains. For some, it seems to have zero effect at all. Decoding this would be nice but…quantifying it is the tricky part. Experience varies so widely so it’s nigh impossible.

Yeah, I don’t think there is any kind of a hard, fast rule that will somehow apply to everyone.

Decon has been 9 weeks I think. It’s been a good while and erections have been strong, when not masturbating like a caffeinated monkey. But, with no girlfriend (4 months wasn’t long enough but then was too long, like when you pick the wrong lady) I’m at little choice. Hopefully, if I can keep my hands off, my EQ will be back to normal and tomorrow’s start date will in fact be on time.

The plan so far is to work multiple clamps again for this I-phase and build a Tiger Trap when I find the time, and I will since I’ll be laid up soon. I will also be experimenting with the Bathmate X50 to close my sessions with at high pressure as opposed to air pumping with my VelSeal at 18HG. But that remains to be seen, how effective and how much I like the X50. Preliminary trial was frustrating but that day was frustrating.

I also have an experimental IPR routine in the works that I’m waiting to get some feedback from xenolith on. That is TG’s Theoretical IPR Campaign (second attempt) and it may use my time better, since I’ll have so much of it. It’s the same but utilizes my electric pump for greater durations than I would if I were going manual and higher pressure with either air or water.

Now, to the fun stuff!

BPEL= 9.125” (-.125”) I’ve not seen 9.25” for a little while. I’m unsure if my EQ is high enough for it, due to the masturbation, or if it’s just a minor loss after tissue remodeling. I’ll put an edit on this post if it changes in the next 24 hours but I’m not pressed. I’m merely noting a trend for this last week of communing with the ruler. It still could be 9.25” and I’m hoping but I am not holding my breath here.

**Edit: After 8 hours of not touching myself I can still reach 9.25” but it took some self-control (and a shift at work really helps fill the time *chuckles*)

MSEG=6.125” (+.125”) I’ve seen 6.125” off and on for a bit but not solidly till here recently. I also have stabilized my MSEG measuring technique. For a while I was using a piece of paracord, then a piece of wire. But I am sticking to my measuring tape and then also have decided, for consistency’s sake, that when I do MSEG that I will get as erect as possible, kegel and then OK grip the base before taking the measurement. This is how I got the most repeatable numbers before and this is how I got 6” MSEG back in December 5 months ago. So trending up by 1/8” is both feasible and notable. So I’ll take it.

BEG=7.25” or so. Because of a taper upwards the measurement changes due to the diameter of the medium used. A thinner wire will get measurements of 7.75” regularly. A 3/4” wide seamstress tape gets around 7.25” and I don’t find this measurement particularly relevant but I have it posted here in case it changes by some drastic amount and I want to note a trend. I’ve discarded the wire so I’ll be doing all seamstress measurements from here on out.

Alright, thanks for reading!

My first girlfriend, 8 years ago, had a Hitachi and a penis shaped vibrator. The vibrator wasn’t very big. It was downright small, actually. The girth was a little smaller than I was, which was say 4" or so. I still haven’t found that exact dildo. But it was longer than I was. The curve was the same as mine, which was pronounced. It didn’t make me feel better no matter what she said. Especially since it was always hard and I seldom was. I wasn’t able, ever, to fuck her with the vibrator. Because I felt replaced by the toy. But…PE went on, for reasons and me and the first girlfriend broke up about a year later.

My next girlfriend was kinky. Into sex toys, bondage, role-playing…and was Hell on wheels for my self-esteem. At her behest, I bought a ton of gear. Stuff that’s really beginner or pedestrian now. It included several vibrators. One BIG one. And this story..is the one of that vibrator and how after almost 8 years, I overcame it.

The toy attached is from Adam and Eve. They still sell the damn thing , same link. It’s $5 cheaper and apparently a "Best Seller" now. And it broke me. I have it below, measured for you as the reader. And in a sister post in my pic thread I have two pictures of it side by side with me.

When I bought this toy, it was about 2" longer than me and about 1.5" larger than my girth at the current time. The girlfriend who had me buy it preferred this toy to me, about 40% of the time we had sex. Which did wonders for my self-esteem. The first time she took the toy, she had trouble (or so she acted) but…she handled it rather easily the rest of the time.

This isn’t to say that she was loose. That her vagina changed in feel for me. I just enjoyed her more on days we didn’t use that toy because it didn’t fuck with my head on that day. On the list of problematic things that made her evil she would claim she’d wait till I was sleeping, lube it up and try anal on me but…this is to illustrate that anyone willing to fuck with your head about your size is likely a terrible person. She was the absolute worst. But she inspired me to take this dildo on as my goal. To overcome it.

After the inevitable, expensive and messy breakup…I slept around for some years. My toy bag got nice and full. And it just…it was good stuff…and that damn pink toy. Whenever a girl would go through it I would bury it in the bottom and hope she’d never find it. Or sometimes I’d leave it out when I did inventory before going to meet someone. It actually caused me distress but I kept it in the bag because anything was worth making a girl orgasm. The best way to keep getting laid is to keep making em cum. Any asshole, regular guy or socially inept guy (and I’ve been all 3) can agree with that so the pink toy existed to fill a void (pun not intended) that my penis could not. I had other vibrators smaller, softer, different shapes, a bullet or two…the bag was expansive enough for a man’s toolkit. But it needed a monster in it to round it out.

This went on, for about 5 years. Into my 4 year of sleeping around I met my regular partner. My lover, as we call each other. It’s fitting but I digress. This lady…was not into toys. Her vagina and clitoris were too sensitive naturally. It was too much. And her vagina, despite being a very big girl, simply was not made for very large things. She, of course, was curious about the pink toy. But after her second try she really didn’t enjoy it much. We got something going the first time, with a lot of lube and foreplay. The second time it just wasn’t good. So she never requested it again. It was too much for her to take.

Things fell on the rocks with her and our initial dating relationship fizzled. We were FWB when we could stand each other for a while and I’d keep her updated on my progress. She would ask about the pink toy and how I compared. She was always curious about that but I had semi-retired the thing. I had lost it (not intentionally…*shifty eyes) and didn’t care to find it. But after my recent milestone of breaking 9" I went to find it. I fully expected not to find it, that I could have lost it or thrown it away but…I found it.

I didn’t compare it to myself when I found it (which is odd as a PE guy cuz we do that to every damn thing), I compared it to my new inspiration, which is a giant white dildo. Which is this dildo only with the balls removed. As I don’t need the suction cup (which came too warped to actually stick to a surface anyway) or the balls for comparison purposes. And the comparison definitely said…that I had stepped my game up. Then, I compared my new inspiration to myself. The entire point of me buying the damn thing. It was humbling but inspiring, as I had hoped.

My excuse for not comparing myself to the pink toy until today? It was simply that I *knew* I was bigger because I had memorized all of the numbers of that toy a long time ago. Which…was a load of crap and I knew it. The burn marks they left on my ego hadn’t healed. I know that was why. I was scared of what I could have seen. Because I thought numbers had let me beat it before and…I had hurt my ego with that damn toy, even when no sex was involved.

Today…I accept what changes have occurred over nearly 8 years and vanquish the antagonist of 8 seasons…I overcome my old nemesis and accept the challenge of a new one.

This guy, henceforth known as the white demon, measures around 9.75" in length or so due to a ragged cut with a razor knife. It’s a sloppy diagonal and due to the thickness and the angle the balls were at, a clean cut wasn’t possible. And a just above a clean 8.25" in girth, which is the standard 16oz US soda can circumference. Which the crowd here is probably as familiar with as I am. Pictures of me head to head with him now and the other nemesis are in the uncensored version of this post where I talk a little and show myself, which you can’t show in the public side of the forum.

Basically, if I can reach him lengthwise I’ve got over 10" BPEL. That is my newest goal. If I reach him girthwise, I’ve likely gone into what I’ll just call "Game Over" because at 8.25" MSEG I won’t be fucking anything on two legs. I’d like some more girth, to round out my shape so that I’m more uniform compared to my base but that’s it. Maybe, because the white demon is pretty much uniform girth, I can use that visual aspect to inspire me. That was why I picked him. That…and I fished up a 50% off coupon and that was the only dildo/vibrator that was both realistic and a significant amount bigger than the pink toy.

But…we will find out…on the next season of thoughtfulgold: The Road Ahead!

Alright. Today, we start! It looked something like this Second Attack: 1st IPR session (uncensored)

Session notes

First, turned on my subliminal vibration audio. Listened to that through speakers entire set and at night, every night

Lightweight stretching warmup
One session 4 clamps for 8 minutes.
4 or 5 erect bends while clamped.

Manual pump with heating pad on medium
4 minutes at 7HG
1 minute at 10HG
1 minute at 12.5HG
1 minute and 30 seconds at 15HG

Massage warmdown.

Other notes

* No edema felt
* Post workout girth was just a hair under 6.25” MSEG
* My 2.25” tube is now tight at the base when I get into it. Either this is greater EQ prepumping or greater base girth.
* Reached 8.5” in tube. Which, with a tube with a thick gasket as the VelSeal and a thick 1.25” fat pat like mine, is more than before.
* Felt a good workout without pushing to previous limits. This makes me suspect true deconditioning has occurred.

Conclusions

* I’m looking to size up to my 2.5” VelSeal, perhaps by the end of this campaign. As I packed it better than ever.
* I may actually find length gains this campaign
* Seeing 6.25” MSEG or bigger by the end of the summer may be a real thing
* My X50 may have been a poor investment at this point

Just had to do a little PE today. I took my first taped girth picture before my workout but I did a little work today.

Session Notes

Edged off and on for an hour, zero visual stimulation. Just some sexting and listening to my subliminal.
5 high intensity TG Creeping Squeezes
Massage warmdown

Other notes

If you do the squeeze and kegel 3-5 times to get maximum pressure in the area above your 2nd OK grip and squeeze rythmically with your fingers you will get some red/purpleness in the glans for a few seconds. I do when doing it at the highest pressure possible. If you are getting it, do no more than a 15 second hold from the time you achieve the pressure you want to hold for the squeeze.

For some reason I am infatuated with more glans expansion so I’m working on that on the sideline, now.

Today, puttering around PE Gym, I ran across a post that said “edited by Dangler” and I do believe their admins do a lot more spell checking and things of that nature at that site (as we really don’t proofread and fix your posts here) and…it struck me as odd. Because one of the guys I started PE with, in the old X4 Forums had that handle. And his timeline…joining PE Gym around 7 years ago…which would coincide with the spam infestation and overall abandonment of the X4 Labs forums…I sent the guy a message. Asked if he was my buddy.

A resounding Yes! We chatted awkwardly a bit. I mean he’s a senior admin at PE Gym. I joined there 2 years ago around the time I was a subscriber of Big Al but wasn’t active there in the least. I may be more active there soon, as I get more time, but just like his plate is full over there mine is full here. We all have memberships multiple places but…who has the time to give more than one forum 100%? Not I, said me.

Then, because I noted the cylinder I normally use is tighter…I went back for another cylinder that had been too big for me for…probably 4 years now. It’s a vacutech Eliptical, a 2x2 1/2” oval cylinder. Damn thing made me feel tiny. But something told me to pull it out of the box, slap a seal on it from one of my other tubes (the 2.25” VelSeal gasket fits on it pretty well) and try it on. A picture of me doing that is in my photo log…—-> Me vs. Vacu-tech Elliptical Thickwall 2x2 1/2”

And…it fit. And fit decently well. My base is the largest girth I have, and since this new IPR thing has started I’ve noted my left CC inflates drastically more at the base. Like it inhales and will do a sudden bulge out and become larger than it ever has. Which gives me hope that I can perhaps find a way to get my entire left CC to inflate in this way. If I pump long enough and with the proper tubes.

But this tube was hilariously oversized on me for years. Looking at the sizing scale, I honestly think it needs 7.25” base girth to fit well. Not 6.75” like it claimed, because that I’ve had for some time and that tube was always a clown show on me. Still fits odd because my mid shaft doesn’t inflate fully like it ought to but it isn’t nearly as bad as before. Cylinders not fitting is one of the most common problems with buying them. So being able to go back and wear them is a sign of both progress and a way to salvage what was wasted money.

Sometimes, trips down memory lane are quite productive.

First, turned on my subliminal vibration audio. Listened to that through speakers for this set and while typing this report

Session notes

Lightweight stretching warmup
One session 4 clamps for 10 minutes.
4 erect bends while clamped.
EQ was 8 or better most of the exercise
Pictures here: Second Attack: 2nd IPR Session (uncensored)

Manual pump with heating pad on medium, Elliptical cylinder used with heat.
8 minutes at 7HG
further use prevented by pain in testicular area, the ball wasn’t sucked into the tube but the vas deferens began to ache of my left testicle.

Massage warmdown. Ejaculation.

Other notes

I didn’t mean to ejaculate. I wanted to get hard enough to get back into the tube properly.
I also meant to take the pad off of the tube to visually observe what had occurred. It felt like better expansion than normal but I have no idea what actually went on as I released the pressure and removed the tube and pad at the same time.
Eliptical tube seems like a fair play but I need hair ties, as seen in another post, to tie off the scrotum to lower the effect of higher and extended pressures.

I have to say that this was an absolutely fascinating read and from my perspective perhaps completely unrelated to PE, such a great metaphor. I think all of us can relate to having encountered circumstances in life that overwhelm us. But to have the zeal, to chose to lean into it, to embark on that long path and incrementally overcome it, is perhaps the best of the human condition.

And having done so, we are now free to reach.

In essence, any goal we reach is the result of having fallen short or perceived such and then wish to undo it, become superior to the situation that we creates or were previously a part of that was unsatisfactory.

This story is just one of my motivations. But it is one that I created, a hurdle I posed to myself and learned to overcome. Out of all the reasons I PE, that one I chose.

Thank you for your kind words.

Thoughtfulgold

Your log is always worth a read, and that story about the size of vibrators was pretty interesting. Sometimes challenging the ladies can be, well… interesting I’d say.

I know this girl who is a bi-curious lesbian, a little bit the butch type but quite curvaceous, and we have a good friendship and some weird common interests (like fireworks, but that’s another story). She knows that I’m into PE and I know she’s into large insertions. So I once made a birthday present of a nice dark 10x7.25” smooth dildo.

After a couple of weeks, I asked her how it’s going with “Henriette” (yes, she baptized the monster after my first girlfriend - again another story). She blushed a little and then said “well it’s suiting all in. And by the way, when you reach that size you are allowed to f**k me”.

Well, I guess I have a size goal then :-)

I’m glad you enjoy my log. If you can get good things out of it then I’m glad.

That’s a lofty goal. Hopefully she’s good motivation. *chuckles*

Session Notes

Edged off and on for an hour, zero visual stimulation. Just some sexting and listening to my subliminal. As is my habit.
5 high intensity TG Creeping Squeezes
Massage warmdown

Other notes

Proper emphasis on your gripping fingers on the upper part of the shaft is the Corpus Spongiuem. You basically are moving your fingers as though you’re playing a flute. Pushing the tips down into the CS and pushing blood up into the glans.

I do believe I measured slightly longer, rounding out my glans to 2x2” and showing a slight change on the ruler that cannot be seen unless 100% EQ is gained.

I do the squeezes until I see visible change in my flaccid glans size at least for the time being or until some red/purpleness occurs. Not much but enough to let me know I’ve reached the limit of what my glans is willing to take safely. This is going to vary from individual to individual.

Great flaccid hang post workout today. I measure bone pressed flaccid but not stretching it. Which was 7” with ease, not in any particularly hot environment either.

Also, orgasmed. Which I’m willing to own up to as my own fault. It is still hard to control sometimes and that’s okay. I accept that as one of my own idiosyncrasies.

thoughtfulgold’s Creeping Squeeze (refresher if you haven’t seen it before, featured here: thoughtfulgold’s Glans Size increase Methods )

Step 1: Using an OK Grip, grab the base of your erection with your off-hand at 90% or greater

Step 2: Use your strong hand in a reverse OK grip right above your first hand. Your thumbs will touch and your hands will be side by side mostly at this point.

Step 3: Encircle each of your subsequent fingers on your strong hand around your penis, slowly pushing blood up the shaft towards the head.
*middle finger
*ring finger
*pinky finger
The motion is similar to playing a flute and you can change the order up at any time during the 15 seconds the squeeze takes place

Step 4: Hold the squeeze at maximum tension for 5-15 seconds. It is normal to relax your grips every few seconds to kegel in more blood to keep the pressure of the squeeze high. If you get numb, cold, or tingling sensations stop immediately.

If your length is too short or you have crazy large hands…simply skip the first step and only use your strong hand to perform the squeeze.