Reflections and Progress: thoughtfulgold

The fact of the matter is the PRP shot is still experimental. A lot of anecdotes and theory and hogwash. But…

The science is solid. So I went after it. And I was impressed, by both the doctor and by the effect of the shot itself even after one pumping session. The weighty flaccid, which even turtling at 5.25” NBP still measured at 6” girth before I left for work. It measured 6.25” directly after removal from the tube. Some edema…but mostly not. That’s the killing thing.

The painkiller made it hard to tell what was edema and what was not. But just the pumping and watching my penis climb higher in the tube, it took all I had to not continue to pump just to see it stretch further. I’ve never had that kind of behavior in a pump before. Much less starting with a turtled penis that had been stabbed with a needle six times.

You take all of these variables into account and it just seems like the shot has to give you gains because the Physiological Indicators are so good in the face of the turtling and adverse conditions the shot places on you to be performed. That’s really where you’ll be with it. That’s how it feels. And I feel like, in just a few weeks, I’ll be like the other guys on my progress report claiming a 1/2” gain in length and girth minimum. Which is more amazing because these guys claiming these gains are older men. I’m sure my capacity to gain is far greater at my age.

All signs point to positive outcomes. All reviews I’ve personally read here have been glowing, and not even advertising shill type glowing. It gives me a lot of faith. Additionally, due to the doctor having difficulty injecting due to scar tissue I’m sure the shot will be instrumental in loosening and breaking up some of it so that my gains are even better in the future even after the shot effects have elapsed.

These are my thoughts. After checking in the bathroom and unrolling my fat, but still turtled flaccid out of my mandatory briefs…I still feel very positively about the shot.

I am as well.

I got updates indeed.

I got a question from a user today asking about my pumping background because it is unclear when I got into pumping in my long PE timeline. But, it’s unclear for a reason. I pumped from probably the end of the first year, off and on indefinitely.

Originally I started with the extender for 18 months. I read about pumping a few months in and purchased both a Bathmate and a cheap air pump (after I failed to make the Bathmate Goliath and Hercules work). Each of these air pumps wouldn’t hold pressure. The cheap seals would tear. This was likely because I was going in completely dry and pretty much destroying the comfort rings. A lot of these pumps were the cheaper ones made by CalExotics and a few other fly-by-night sex toy companies. Nothing to write home about. They also almost all were too damn big for me. One, a small black one with black plastic for the cylinder and an odd black plastic seal fit me okay and I outgrew it many years later. It had a simple handbulb, no gauge. Just like most of the pumps I bought. I threw all the toys out a few years ago. I almost kept the black one for memories but wanted to make space. Wish I had kept it. My head didn’t even fit in it anymore really. Just a memory now. A lot of the money I’ve spent on PE, to this day, is on pumps and cylinders. Always has been.

Speaking of gauges, I didn’t get into gauges until I bought a vacutech cylinder in my probably 3rd year. I’m still 2 years probably from when I would chat with Big Al and probably months from buying my DP4000 (which I would do a fat load of nothing with because I wouldn’t figure out how it worked for another year.) But back to the Vacu-tech. It was a 2.5" diameter thickwall. TOO damn big. Still a bit too big TODAY.

So I bought an eliptical thickwall from Vacu-tech, 2.25x1.75" (and ended up with a second 2.5" regular Thickwall somehow, it’s just in my equipment). Which was also too damn big but fits somewhat better now. Then I ended up with a 2" diameter Thickwall (I still didn’t know you could get cylinders anywhere else, I only read that Vacu-tech was quality) that I pumped with religiously for a time. I clouded the cylinder with the lube I used but it was still bigger than I needed. But I did a lot of pumping with it, until the base got so snug it hurt. May have done a year with this tube, on top of all of the other pumps I used off and on with the rest of my dark days of experimentation.

So in my 4th year I bought a 2.25" Velseal from Pumptoys. And tried to get my DP4000 to work again. This time I got something working and worked the DP4000 for a year. During this time I could chart base girth exploding because it would stretch under pressure due to the wider cylinder but the issues with my left CC would keep the mid shaft and upper shaft from expanding evenly. But it stayed sealed and I saw expansion and temp gains just like all the guys I read about and learned about edema so I figured I was on the right track. I was proud of myself.

When it came time to work with Big Al I made sure to work it into my routines with him for that timespan as well. These routines are Pumping and Clamping Routine and Gear List #1 and thoughtfulgold Advanced Routine #1: Pumping with ULI#3 which can be found on my methods list. I ran these routines until I couldn’t get the DP4000 to work anymore. Easily 2.5-3 years. I was coming off of that pumping phase when I joined here in my 7th year of PE. These routines in my opinion are some of the simplest and most effective I created before I simply started free-handing all my pumping. But, the chronicle doesn’t end there.

I ran those routines while I was here until I started clamping hardcore in my 8th year and started experimenting with IPR. In my 9th year I kicked pumping back up with this: PE4F High Pressure Pumping: thoughtfulgold and learned a LOT more about expansion patterns, edema and pressure usage.

Note

It needs to be said that this is when I started using LeLuv tubes. They’re a good quality tube, especially for the money. Easily half the cost of a Vacu-tech and more comfortable. I’ve never found thickwall style tubes to be comfortable and prefer a cushioned tube if I can get one but the PE4F project never got any for my personal use. Because I had to modify the tubes by drilling them I didn’t want to ruin a tube that cost over $100 for an experiment that I may not see to completion. Knowing what I know now, I may have just drilled the 2.25" Velseal I had but…ah well. I do this style of pumping with LeLuv’s as a result, simply out of habit now.

That leads me to today, in my 10th year post Priapus shot, where I’m using what I learned in my 9th year to pump using a specific scaling up routine with my PE4F HVAC pump, the Plateau Breaker here post PRP shot: My pumping routine rubric for PRP.

So hopefully this fills in some blanks for some folks and helps people somehow.

This morning has been interesting. I’ve been experiencing positive Physiological Indicators that I’ve never seen in all my life. And more importantly, measurable change from one day to the next. The entire concept is wild to me but it validates some of my theories that I actually staged for this day to come.

I’m seeing incredible expansion. Period. The attached pictures in this post are miraculous. They make sense to me but seeing them happen is nothing short of brain-breaking. But I saw this coming.

I have stalled in gaining rate for about 3 years now. Since coming to Thunder’s in 2016 I’ve only seen a bit over 1/2” in length (not today’s topic) and about 3/8” to a 1/2” in girth. Neither wants to be stable but tend to make a higher top end measurement than when I started.

My issue was I thought I had a tissue issue preventing full expansion. My urologist assured me I didn’t have scar tissue and Peyronie’s plaque issues in my penis. And I thought I had some scar tissue or a malformation of my left Corpus Cavernosum that was keeping girth from being fully realized. No matter how much I pumped I couldn’t get tubes to pack and I couldn’t gain girth but on the right and underside of my penis. So girth gaining for me was always slow, and length, if the curve wouldn’t cooperate…would stall right out. And really my measurements fluctuate based on how the curve feels that day. These are facts of my life. So let’s frame up with that.

Now, let’s talk about measures I took that led my Penis Enlargement off the beaten path like a runaway ATV. Once I got to Thunder’s Place, I started doing a lot of research. Reading about a lot of different theories. I tried silicone sleeve pumping, to pretty much no avail. Then decided it was time to get hardcore.

First, it was IPR. Which is basically relatively short and aggressive periods of very intense PE followed by somewhat longer minor PE to assist in the beginning of tissue remodeling and long deconditioning breaks to rest and allow tissue to more completely remodel and repair itself. xenolith defiantly gets incredible gains even at his size from this. I saw some gains, some of the girth I did gain is due to this. But, the near exponential scale-ups I saw myself needing to keep the routines applicable and relevant to my size and conditioning were upside-down. Meaning it would take more effort than it would feasibly be worth for predictably small gains over time, which would only barely change my gains rate. It was at the conclusion of my second or third IPR campaign that I started to despair mentally.

I turned back to hanging with the Bib briefly, to pretty much no avail though I finally mastered attaching it and found a spectacular wrap that worked. Then I decided to start a fistfight with the Bathmate X50 Extreme, acting like defeating it would bring me satisfaction and gains. Long story short, the X50 is even bigger than the Goliath that totally smashed my pride in year 1 of PE and it pretty much did the same in year 8. So it was back to the drawing board.

So, I decided to cross the line into further hardcore stuff. Pretty much there were only two things left. PEForFun high pressure pumping done with an HVAC Pump and the Extreme ULI (which is clamping done with a metal turnkey hose clamp). I spent a year at the high pressure pumping, that log is linked above in my pumping history towards the bottom. I spent about 3 weeks experimenting with the hose clamp but saw blood I didn’t find permissible and concluded risk factors for gains were simply too great to ignore. But…I had takeaways from these endeavors.

PE4F Pumping got me about 1/4” in girth over 10 months of the hardest work I’ve ever done. But…the endeavor of staging up cylinders and correcting my curve somewhat taught me something about how my penile tissue was reacting to stress. It was NOT letting me get things done. High pressure pumping did soften my tissues enough for me to gain but something was holding me back. Some kind of long-term toughening. So if I could soften the tissue, make it pliable somehow I could get the expansion my penis is designed to perform. I wasn’t going to entertain scar tissue just yet but all the signs were there.

Then, the beginning of this year I dabbled in vacuum hanging. In short order my glans changed shape and got bigger. Which stood to reason. The tough tissue was in the shaft of my penis not the glans so that was a matter of course I fully expected. Now, I’ve been reading PRP shot reports for two years but I started reading them with fervor now. Because the gains these guys were experiencing suggested to me that with low to medium amounts of work, they were getting gains and the shot must be a factor there.

Then, I read a user’s report here on how the PRP shot increased his curvature and the missing piece was added. This user had a very expansive PE routine, that included clamping. That exercise alone is high pressure and with malleable tissue would cause uneven distension in the Corpus Cavernosums. And that, is what happened in his case. My plan forward was set.

So, if I got a shot, judicious and precise application of even all around force would be needed. I could get that with the Plateau Breaker I built for PE4F pumping with digital gauge. Do it twice daily to keep malleable tissue distended consistently and take advantage of increased healing to break up scar tissue (which the doctor confirmed I had, because my penis was the toughest out of all of the guys he injected with difficulty penetrating 3/6 injections.) and use the expansion granted by dissolving scar tissue to race to the finish line.

And thusly, the gains I’m seeing day 3 are the result of years of research and conditions that compounded to exist for this exact scenario to play out. I may jump to 7” girth in the next two months. I fully expect it in fact. And my curve will be eliminated and the girth will be even on both sides of my penis. It simply is what will happen, based on events thus far and my application of force based on my tissue reaction history.

Amazing history summary TG. I assume you already know from my past posts I am a believer in the rejuvinative benefits of PRP. It has definitely helped me to take the next step in my PE. I must admit I’ve become addicted to the positive effects of each PRP session and so far have had 6 (over a 14 month period). All the best in your coming journey towards your goals. With your application and knowledge of how your penis responds to various forms of PE your thread will be invaluable for those looking to take advantage of PRP.

I can say so far I’m sold. Probably not gonna go the six shot route, can’t afford that lol. Thank you for the kind words. Hopefully it helps folks.

Hey TG, I wanted to ask you these 2 things.

Now that you are gaining at a “newbie” sort of level from this different approach, how does it feel PEwise? I mean, do you feel soreness like fatigue? How does the expansion feel, I mean I usually get involuntary strong kegels throughout the day when I feel I am gaining through positive PI’s, I am guessing it’s part of the deformation process.

I am interested in the effects of your P shot outcome as it is clear in your photo’s that it provides a “sudden” expansion, right?

Also, what is your take on heat before/cold after workouts? I feel like I could really make some “sudden” expansion both length and girthwise through just one 1-3hours session with lots of heat provided along the sets whether it’s hanging or clamping/any other length/girth oriented routine, and afterwards maybe 30min-2hours time of ice compression hanging/clamping at lower levels, keeping the penis stretched/expanded…

And a third and last question, don’t you think you could’ve made these gains through one more month of regular PE and supplementing with “hard core” stuff like, idk, super arginine and triple citruline + sildenafil or something(just giving out an example here, I really mean based on your knowledge and experience with supplements and stuff)?

I don’t feel soreness. There is a raw feeling if i edge too much, due to increased sensitivity. Additionally, while I want to increase my workout I can sense that I would fatigue the penis and it would be tired and EQ would drop. My EQ post workout already is hovering at 85% and barely makes it to 100% if I’m dilligent.

I do not have a take on the mix of heating up before a session and using cold/cold water as a cooldown to end a session. I haven’t done it and it seems like something I wouldn’t enjoy so I don’t want to speculate. I have zero experience with it.

No, I do not.

I honestly never thought I would entertain the idea of getting “too big” in more than a theoretical context. But, in the face of my PRP expansion patterns, I’m probably going to see some significant permanent girth gains. Something like 1/2” would be expected but I may clear a full 3/4” if I’m lucky and dilligent (and one of those I know I can be) and…there is reason for a second shot that isn’t size related but will result in me exploiting this type of gaining a second time. This entry is loosely related here: Modified PRP Rubric

In theory, if I gain a half inch twice in girth, I’ll be over 7” MSEG. Honestly, while I academically know that poses difficulty in many sexual contexts…I’m not really moved by it. My understanding of my penis shape and the gains I’ve seen up to this point is that if my left side fully inflated and I actually removed my curve from the equation I would be around 7” or 7.25” in girth mid shaft and base. My base is around 7.36” (it flucuates upwardss at random but is stable around the 7.3” area) and I would be content if my cock were a uniform girth from base to tip. It was my original dream.

As it happened, I gained a bunch of girth against all odds over the 10 years I’ve been at this. As soon as I cement 6.375” I will have gained exactly 2” of girth. Going from low average girth to absolutely monstrous girth. But, I have to be honest, now more than ever.

When I do have sex and I get a girl further than halfway down my cock (rare but happens) I love that feeling of super snug fitting. And I get thicker abruptly at the base, so I’ve had 6.75” girth inside of my partners before and they have expanded (usually a struggle but this comes with the territory and they enjoy the challenge immensely if you do it right) and….I enjoy it. I enjoy the challenge of good sex. I enjoy geometric challenges. The entire tableau of sex when a girl is at her physical limits is intoxicating to me. And…looking at going past 6.375” MSEG I have to admit that is a driving factor. It simply is.

Also, my new 2.5x12” LeLuv tube came today. I will drill it when I get home and I hope to need it after about a month with the 2.25” I want to pack it and actually earn the right to pump in a 2.5” diameter cylinder like I never have before. I own several 2.5” cylinders and they generally were poor decisions. I have 2 of the Vacu-tech Thickwalls (why 2, no clue) and I have a 2.5” Velseal that I just didn’t have the heart to drill cuz it is so expensive. Additionally, I think I will want to keep the Velseal for a manual pumping option…or maybe sale. Part of me is kind of meh on spending $50 on a 2.5” cylinder but I know how the LeLuv tubes perform when attached to my Plateau Breaker. That’s my reasoning. I know that style and how I use it. I wish I had started with Velseals so that I could be used to them but personally, even though they offer luxury I am a consistent type. I don’t like changing variables of known personal success scenarios.

All that said, two other factors are in play here. One is that there is a chance that I will lose a bit of length doing all of this girth work to finally get rid of my curve. That is fine but it may mean more PE. I definitely want to stay above the 9” mark, as this girth will make me look stubby otherwise. Then, the sensitivity effects of the PRP shot. A second would just intensify things and that is something I’ve craved for years and it was the one aspect that made me read about PRP (priapus shots) 2 years ago. And it actually bore out like the advertising suggested. So, no matter what, I’ll be getting a second shot if only for that effect. Whether that will result in me gaining ‘too much’ girth or not remains to be seen but I don’t care as much.

These years at PE have taught me a lot about me. I love the way I look and I’m picky enough about my partners now that if someone is unwilling to work with what I’m working with, it simply will be or not be what it is. I have concluded my quest for chasing the ‘perfect woman’ and am not going to be placing myself at extreme levels of inconvenience to maybe find someone worth my time who then could reject me for any number of reasons, penis size included. I have to live with me and I am happier doing what I’m doing and getting it done in this accelerated timetable than I can properly express. I will take advantage of it as long as I can and I don’t think anyone else’s opinion now or in the future will change that.

But, I have to entertain all scenarios. And maybe it limits my partner pool. Maybe it doesn’t. Right now, I’m just happy to be gaining, have a plan forward and still gains to get for the foreseeable future. That, is my thinking.

“Too big” be damned.

It has been one week since I’ve put in an entry here. Reading my last entry, I figured I may as well touch on some of the things I spoke on previously while adding to my own update on progress.

First and foremost, I’m pumping in my 2.5” diameter LeLuv cylinder using high pressure cycling. This is still in conjunction with the PRP shot I recieved on the 20th of March 2019 which was eleven days prior. Originally, when I recieved the cylinder in question a week ago I didn’t think I would be able to use it at all quite honestly. I’ve never successfully used a 2.5” diameter cylinder for anything. I originally purchased them because my base felt snug in a 2.25” and it CAN seal the larger width cylinder but the dispersal of force and the fact my midshaft refused to expand made them worthless and they typically sucked in a testicle about half of the time I used them. That is an unacceptably high failure rate and it pretty much indicates the cylinder is too large for me. I split the difference with a 2.25x2.5” eliptical thickwall and found out that I hate Thickwall tubes and that it wasn’t the answer I was looking for either.

However, now…after the shot…just to catch you up on exactly why I’m stoked and why I’m running my routines this way…

On October 15th of 2018, after 10 months of high pressure pumping cycling conditioning and completely packing a 2” diameter cylinder I moved up to a 2.25” diameter cylinder here: Round 20 (56): Moving up Cylinder Size to 2.25” and I only had 3 sessions in it. Which, I never made it very high in that cylinder. I started around 4.5” and made it to around 5” but I had base girth sealing concerns that were part of why the pumping ceased for the time being as I didn’t want to go back into the 2” diameter cylinder. So…I was struggling in my 2.25” to use it at all.

On the day of my shot, when I hadn’t pumped in months, I was faced with the dilemma of which tubes to bring. The prior night I had pumped manually with my Velseal 2.25” to be sure I could still seal a 2.25” reliably and could so I decided to bring my LeLuv and Velseal 2.25” diameter to the procedure. The LeLuv obviously was what I used, since I used high pressure pumping cycling after the shot not manual pumping with my hand mityvac. I simply had both just in case. On the day of the shot I packed the 2.25” around 4.5” up, which was more than expected but I credited a lot of that to the shot itself.

All of this data suggests that I should be running my 2.25” into the ground, right? Not to me. I was feeling that base girth pinch that I get when I know there’s expansion yet to be had and the progress up the shaft wasn’t fast enough for my tastes. So I purchased the 2.5” LeLuv and started staging into it and running it for the last 5-10 minutes of these workouts. But for the last 2 days I’ve run the 2.5” cylinder solo for my workouts with no problems. Solid sealing and still packing 4”+ each session and seeing the same temporary girth gains at the MSEG (mole) mark on my shaft. The base expands very well and if I go in erect my seal is quite solid. The underside of the shaft is inflating better than it ever has, which I think is more effects of the PRP shot that I hadn’t predicted so that this became the next logical step.

Instead of waiting a month for the 2.5” to be worked into, I waited about 3 days. And it turned out well. That said, I am using my ball stretcher weight during the day to give my scrotum a fighting chance. The 2.5” width is a challenge for the amount of scrotum I have and the base expands enough that some of it cannot avoid being sucked into the tube. Which, if I’m not careful will result in a testicle being sucked in and will hurt like the dickens because being sucked in and squashed against the fully expanded base of my shaft is not going to be good at all. But, I’m cognizant of this risk so I doubt it will happen and working with the ball stretcher is a precursor for the new full package tube that is coming this week and I should mitigate these problems long-term very soon with greater testicle size and hang.

More moves I want to make is to start including the LG hangar in the PE regiment with the pumping and to make a decision on the timeline of my second (definite) and third (possible) Priapus shots. I want to pay off the Care Credit Card so that I can at least use it for the second shot with the promotional financing but I have a LOT of things going on so I may have to delay all of this. Right now I’m barely squeezing in 2 pump sessions per day. I am working all kinds of extra shifts and doing other projects (in addition to serious house cleaning again, cuz that gets neglected when I double down on work like I have been doing) so hanging isn’t quite what I want it to be. I just am not able to make the time like I really need to in order to make it a profitable and productive endeavor with chartable results.

All of this being said, my PRP pumping protocol has reached the fluid stage where I just understand what I need from each session. So the protocols flex with my needs and desires of each session, which…any good PE when you really get the hang of it. Maybe I’m biased, because I’ve been at this 10 years but I think it’s something anyone doing PE can attain.

So from here, I’ve got the goals of:

*packing my 2.5” diameter cylinder up to the glans
*working the LG Hangar back into the rotation
*planning my second Priapus shot (possibly my third)
*reach 6.5” MSEG as a goal short-term
*maintain and exceed 9.25” BPEL short-term
*maintain and exceed 8” NBPEL short-term

That’s it for this update. Updates to come when full package tube arrives and when I can solidly mark MSEG over 6.25”

If you’re following my PRP shot progress you’ll note I’m running the absolute hardest pumping regiment I’ve ever tried. This post talks about it and showcases what I’m after: Notes and adjustments to PRP Pumping (uncensored #2) and it’s sort of a question of “why now”?

I look at what I did with the high pressure pumping in 2018. My progress wasn’t anything to write home about. I made a bit over .25” in the upper shaft by the circumcision scar and around midshaft was around .25” or so but I wasn’t very happy with the level of fluctuation I was seeing. Did not feel stable. Yet I liked the method. I learned a lot about it, tweaked the machinery and mastered the method.

Fast forward to now, where extended periods of high pressure pumping were recommended by the doctor. Particularly cycling, which the machinery really shines at. And it’s strange. I don’t like assigning magical properties to anything. Not machinery. Not medical science. But…after my PRP shot I had the feeling of “I spent the money so something had better be different. And…when I went into the facility I did NOT take my 2” cylinder. Even though I did months of pumping in it and only a few sessions in the 2.25” that didn’t go well due to me not sealing it well…I brought my 2.25” cylinder for high pressure and manual pumping. I was motivated and convinced that I would pack the cylinder solid one way or the other.

I did. And I additionally pack a 2.5” comfortably now also. This is where my latest move comes into play. I started staging backwards to form in the cylinder better. I have mild inconsistencies in my base expansion that I want to work out with using the 2.5” cylinder but…I know to focus pressure higher up, to the mid shaft I have to use a cylinder that I pack exactly to the points I want to focus, using a larger one will basically minimize the effect of the negative pressure on the points I want because lower parts of the shaft that aren’t packing are more greatly affected in a wider cylinder.

Currently I’m probably going to dial backwards and use a 2.25 for both high pressure cycling and high pressure static use just to measure post session girth patterns and see which I like better. I predict that the 2.25” could be the edge I want in MSEG but my counter theory of full inflation of the base leads to more complete inflation of the mid shaft still exists. So whichever gives me the best temporary gain pattern with the least amount of edema is the tube combination I’ll stick with. I have a Velseal 2.5” that I can use when I’m further along but that, for static use is off of the table. And because of that, I suspect that I should probably take the 2.5” Leluv off the table for now until I’ve fully fixed my midshaft.

The argument can be made that any gains I see will be a result of the more aggressive routines I’ve been doing. And, to some extent, they would be right. But having conditioned myself pretty well over 10 months and not having seen these expansion patterns at all until the PRP shot I would have to insist that the shot had a positive effect on either tissue elasticity or reduction of scar tissue enough for me to see these new, greater patterns of expansion. So, while I don’t totally buy into everything the PRP shot is said to do at the levels people insist it will work I have to respectfully disagree that it is worthless and has no real use in PE.

Something changed the fact that in October of 2018 I struggled to use a 2.25” cylinder with my pump and really needed to stay in my 2” longer versus me being able to comfortably use a 2.5” cylinder after about a week and a half getting the PRP shot. Literally, there’s got to be an extrapolation worth making here and I don’t see enough girth change during that time frame to make me growing into the larger cylinders likely. This is where my view is on the Priapus shot as of now and why I theorized it would be useful and it then was useful to me.

Also, for those following my Full Package pumping thread, my Bullmaster 357 came this week and I’ve gotten a session into it to understand what exactly goes on. I got reasonable to good expansion of the testicles for a 30 minute session at 4HG. I learned the special agony of full package pumping with a cylinder that fits. And you would think, with the amount of times my penis has been up to 20HG that it would be a cakewalk? No, it just isn’t. 4HG full package is enough. I won’t be going above that, plenty of guys gain at 3HG so it’s just what it is and I have to start racking up the raw time. At half hour sessions hopefully daily the time will add up BUT I do know I cannot use the full package cylinder properly after pumping my penis. So either a reasonable amount of space between my Penis and Testicle sessions must exist or I need to go with the balls first. That will be figured out eventually.

So that is where my mind is this week. I’ll be reflecting again next week probably, especially if any new developments arise.

I took a pic this morning, seeing my 2” cylinder next to my 2.25” and 2.5” I run with my plateau breaker. 2” cylinder in rearview

And I had to sit back and think. What about the hours I spent in that cylinder? What about the infinite frustration I was feeling in the third month trying to see progress? What about how miserably I felt that I failed when I moved out of that cylinder originally? All of those questions which are moot now still matter. They are why I’m looking back. For me to continue to progress I need to be able to see the things that I have done in order to maintain a sense of perspective that will continue to motivate me. I speak on it regularly but for me the greatest motivation I have had consistently over the years regardless who I’m dating or how they feel about my penis is when I am able to outgrow my equipment. Hard material specifications do not lie. Equipment that you are intimately familiar with and have spent hours with remains the same sans wear and tear. And that lets you maintain some sense of what goes on when you move on past equipment. I have done PE for 10 years in August and the amount of equipment I no longer can use has mounted high enough that I have thrown equipment away and I am proud of this fact.

The sensation of swimming in the dark for uncounted miles in the ocean for unknown miles forward waiting and hoping for the sign that you reach the next sign of progress…the next person in the relay to touch their hand in a race that you can’t even truly comprehend outside of the leg that you were swimming this infinite frustration can be stemmed and you can look back and see something. It isn’t just water and blindly pushing forward at the limits of your body. It isn’t just nothing but effort.

Rewards exist outside of the finish line. Waypoints exist. Just beware of missing them. Of not looking for them and valuing them. Beware those things more than any other, because you can devalue your quest by not appreciating your steps regardless what your goal is.

Great perspective.

So true TG, so true. We can easily manipulate things (e.g.press the ruler a bit harder into our fat pad, measure at a slightly more beneficial angle) to fool ourselves into believing we have made gains but outgrowing equipment is the one true indicator of progress.

The value in looking back is understated, especially in the arena of incremental change. Revel in it. You must to continue forward.